5 Reasons My Daycare Provider Might Be The Wife I Always Wanted

I have always wanted a wife. Unfortunately, being heterosexual probably precludes me from that, but I really think I need one.

Every afternoon when I pick up my daughter from daycare her provider and I go through the usual: “how did she nap, did she poop, what did she eat”, etc. My spouse cares for our daughter alone for a day and I get a verbal list of things she does and how he deals with it (as ‘tips’ for me), but that is for another post.

My spouse is a great father. He loves our daughter to distraction, and when he is with her for any length of time without me he never calls it “babysitting”, so he wins. This is definitely not to slam him, because he does everything for us, from cooking to helping with laundry, sharing the picking up and dropping off-all the things busy parents do.

That being said, I am pretty sure he would agree with me that I need a wife, and almost have one in the form of our daycare provider. And we lucked out; ours is amazing in ways I never would have even thought to ask for.

She remembers everything, but not in the bitchy way. She remembers what my daughter likes, knows if she slept well or not, how many poops she has had, and their ‘state’. She knows when we’re running out of diapers, and tells me at least half a pack before using the last one. She can tell the difference between teething and actual sickness, and knows when NOT to pay attention to my screaming toddler (FYI, it’s when she is on the ground, peaking up to see if anyone is watching).

She makes me ‘Mommy’ things. Hubs is a brilliant artist, but he is not going to sit down and make a butterfly out of her hand cut-outs for me for Mother’s Day. He will buy me flowers and card until the cows come home, and give them to me ‘from’ my daughter, but he is not going to make me an autumn-leaf turkey with her name on it.

She GETS me. She has toddlers too, so not only are we close to the same stages in parenting, we are in the same place ON parenting. She gets why I do what I do, without me having to ensure her I am not being neglectful or mean when I don’t let her eat sugar at 7:00 am. (Note to hubs: Yes, honey, sometimes I do need to explain that to you. XO)

She’s an amazing listener. And by listening I totally mean she kvetches with me at the beginning and ending of Every. Single. Day. Whether it’s about hubs, coworkers, work, or other annoying things, I have an audience. A sympathetic audience, no less, who doesn’t feel the need to one-up me. Except in complaints about having to watch 5 toddlers every day. I let her have that. Wait…I should probably start being the good listener in this marriage.

She takes the worry out of every day. I rarely call her during the day. That doesn’t mean we don’t talk, just that I don’t worry or feel the need to text about my daughter during the day, which leaves me free to worry about everything else (thanks, I think??). There is no value that I can put on knowing that my daughter is happy and cared for.

Now, listen, don’t think I don’t think the same things about hubs when she is with him. I do, and never worry. The difference is this: my daycare provider can go to the grocery store without calling me 87.3 times to ask about cereal, ya know what I mean?