Nursery Rhymes & Sex Education

At the risk of offending, I had to to post this. I am somewhere in between laughing my head off and wondering what the hell to do with it.

I have completely forgotten most of the nursery rhymes of my youth, so yesterday I bought this for me and my daughter to read. It’s really cute, and also teaches the hand actions for each one:

When we got home, she was sleeping so I went through a few of them so we could play when she woke up.

Then I got to page 118:

Now, I am no prude. I tell dirty jokes as much as I laugh at them, and have been accused of being a potty mouth on more than a million occasions.

But I started to wonder. For many reasons I won’t read this ditty to my daughter, the chief one being that I do not need her to ask her kindergarten teacher, when she gets there, to teach it to the class during music time. And so what do I do with this page for when she is old enough that she can read them too?

After laughing my head off and sharing this gem with a few friends, one of them (who is British, so..of course) assured me that it really is an old English nursery rhyme. And, she informed me, we know it’s English because pussy has a coat – otherwise it would be Brazilian.

Also, page 120:

Yeah. Won’t be reading that page either.