This post is about giving myself permission to be me. I hope that, if you see yourself somewhere in here, you will hear what I am saying to us, and live/write/speak for yourself too.
Blogging isn’t easy. Trying to be a stand-out in a world of people striving for the same thing can take its toll. Luckily, I have somehow stumbled onto a group of really great writers who have not only offered sage advice but who have taken the time to help me and my little space get some notice. I may not be the most talented writer out there, but I am surely not the worst (I even know what the Oxford Comma is, and I am not afraid to use it!), and with each post I write the words come more easily than the last.
Every time I think about post ideas, I feel the pressure to be upbeat, informative, and offer useful advice. I do this to myself, because I have painted myself into a corner in thinking that I should only write to a certain audience. While yes, this is certainly true-we do need to write to a certain type of person, but that person could belong to several different types of audiences. For example, I have two blogs: DNM Magazine, on which I write about television, books, movies, etc (soon to be rebranded with a music industry friend *shameless plug inserted here*, so keep a look out!) and this one, which is a ‘mommy blog’ of sorts. In terms of audiences, the type of people reading DNM are not necessarily going to want to read my post about grief; it doesn’t belong there. Those same people may come here, looking for just that type of post-because this is where it belongs.
I strive to be honest in my writing, whether it makes people uncomfortable or not; I sometimes feel like I write a lot of negative, but unfortunately it’s when I am in my lows that I can be my clearest. I use a lot of my writing as a free-form therapy session, sometimes, because I often won’t know what it is that is compelling me to write until I have written it.
I realize some people will take this as a trite, self-aggrandizing post; as though I am ‘above all that’. I assure you that is not the case. I am a consumer of ‘all that’, and I enjoy reading all types of upbeat, funny, and happy blog posts when I can. This is about me giving myself permission to enjoy them, and permission to not write them if I don’t want to, and, conversely, to write them if I do! Essentially, I want to unpaint this corner I have put myself in and open up my world to whatever *I* want.
Even while writing this post, my inner voice is saying “people don’t care about this, no one is going to read this…why are you bothering?”
Well, Inner Voice, shut the fuck up. This one is for ME.